


Stars with people names

by BigG1999



Series: It's that heart of gold and stardust soul that make you beautiful ~ R. M. Broderick [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Closeted Character, Coming Out, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Trans Lexa (The 100), Transgender, Transgender Lexa, in the closet, teenager Lexa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:41:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21999898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BigG1999/pseuds/BigG1999
Summary: Part 1 of series, the prequel if you will“We have calcium in our bones, iron in our veins, carbon in our souls, and nitrogen in our brains. 93 percent stardust, with souls made of flames, we are all just stars that have people names.” - Nikita GillLexa coming out to people she cares about throughout her life. (FLUFF)
Relationships: Clarke Griffin & Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Series: It's that heart of gold and stardust soul that make you beautiful ~ R. M. Broderick [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1561378
Comments: 35
Kudos: 210





	1. Lincoln/Anya

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so, this has major spoilers for the rest of the 'verse, but I thought that some people might just want to read Lexa coming out all at once, so here it is, but you can also find 3/4 of these in the following series if you read them.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa figuring herself out and coming out to Lincoln, and later Anya.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Lincoln growls, shoving his best friend roughly.

“You’re my problem! Leave me the fuck alone,” Axel growls, shoving Lincoln back.

Lincoln growls, tackling the smaller boy, taking him to the ground.

“Stop fucking fighting me Axel!” he yells, pinning Axel’s hands to the ground. 

“Get off of me!” Axel yells, struggling against the twelve-year-old.

Lincoln grunts as Axel trashes underneath him but hangs on. 

“You fucking asshole!” he yells, trying, and failing to break free.

Time passes slowly as the fight leaves the smaller boy. Lincoln watches as his best friend seems to shrink, getting lost in their mind. 

“What’s going on Axe?” he questions quietly, rolling to the side to sit next to Axel on the ground. 

“I…” Axel sighs, tears filling his eyes.

“Come on Axel. It’s okay if you’re gay, you know I don’t care,” Lincoln whispers.

Axel lets out a wet laugh, tears spilling, “I like girls Linc, you know that.”

Lincoln grins as he takes Axel’s hand in his, “I know, but you’re worrying me, Axel.”

Axel sighs, squeezing the hand in his. 

“I think…” he swallows, “I think there’s something wrong with me.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you Axe, whatever it is. I promise.”

Tears flow again, running in rivers down the teenager's face. 

“I’m not a boy.”

The sentence comes out stronger than she feels, but it feels right. It feels like the truest thing she’s said in years, the only fact that has ever come out of her mouth. 

Green eyes look over, taking in the reaction of the boy she’s called her best friend for years now. Ready for the look of disgust, for the hateful words she’s read online to spill out of his mouth. 

“Okay,” he says instead, squeezing her hand and offering a smile. 

She blinks in surprise, her mouth dropping slightly. 

“Do you… Like, have a new name or something? Should I call you-”

“No.” she cuts him off quickly, her heart racing, “You can’t tell anybody. Dad would… You can’t tell anybody.”

Lincoln nods in understanding, squeezing her hand again.

“I mean it Lincoln. I can’t… You can’t tell anybody. Promise me.”

“I promise.”

She sighs in relief. 

“I love you, no matter what your name is,” Lincoln whispers, pulling her into a hug. 

“I love you too Linc,” she whispers, sagging into his embrace.

* * *

Anya’s heart drops as she takes in the crying teenager before her, curled up into a ball on their bed. 

“Leave me alone.”

“Don’t act like that,” Anya sighs, taking a seat next to the girl on the bed.

“Act like what? A spoiled brat who doesn’t deserve anything?” she spits, turning to glare at the blonde, fire burning bright in her green eyes. 

"You are the opposite of what he tells you. You are worth more than anything. He tells you you're a boy, we both know you're not. Stop believing him Axel," Anya whispers as she pulls the girl into her arms, "Opposite of Axel is Lexa. You're Lexa babe."

"Lexa?" she questions, sinking into Anya’s hold.

"Yeah. That's your name now kid. Lexa. Lex for short, when we can't call you Lexa. You like that?"

"That's a girl name."

"And you're a girl."

"I am?"

"Aren't you?"

"I am. I am Lexa."


	2. Clarke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa coming out to Clarke, also can be read in chapter 26/27 of Stardust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a SPOILER for the next 'part' of this series.

Lexa sighs, taking in the blonde on the couch and the black screen of Netflix, asking if she’s still watching. She must’ve fallen asleep waiting for her to get home so they could hang out. Quietly she grabs the blanket from the chair, walking over to cover up the blonde. Noticing the pad of paper in Clarke’s lap, she moves it to the coffee table without thought before covering her with the blanket. The blonde shifts, turning in her sleep before letting out a soft sigh and relaxing again.

“I think I might love you,” Lexa whispers as she takes in the blonde’s relaxed face, gently pressing a kiss to her forehead. 

She sighs as she stands back up, looking around the room. Her eye catches the sketch pad she had taken from the blonde, still open to what she assumes the blonde was working on. 

Her heart stops as she takes it in. 

It’s a drawing of her, or at least it was. It’s obviously her profile but softened. She can see the past lines where Clarke must’ve originally drawn the hairline as she has it now, short with small curls on top. The lines are faint as they’ve been drawn over, a new hairdo placed on her surrogate face. It’s long, trailing down and fading into nothing, pulled back into what must be an array of braids. 

Clarke jumps, the sounds of someone trying and failing to take in oxygen waking her up. Blue eyes scan quickly, taking in Lexa hyperventilating on the floor where she’s fallen.

“Hey, it’s okay,” she soothes, rolling from the couch onto the floor, kneeling in front of the brunette.

“It’s okay, you’re safe,” she says, taking Lexa’s hands in hers.

“Listen to my voice, okay? In and out. In… and out,” Clarke coaches gently, taking in Lexa’s new black eye and slipt lip.

Clarke continues talking Lexa down, slowing her breathing to a normal pace. She lets out a little gasp when Lexa dives forward, tackling her in a hug. She relaxes quickly, wrapping both arms around Lexa, one cupping the back of her neck.

“Are you okay?” Clarke questions softly into Lexa’s ear.

Lexa pulls back slightly, looking into blue eyes. Clarke reaches out without realizing it, her fingers gently caressing Lexa’s busted lip as she looks at Lexa’s black and swollen eye. 

Lexa watches was blue eyes dip down, watching her lips and she acts before thinking.

Clarke gasps in surprise before sighing, falling into the kiss. It’s softer than any kiss Clarke has ever had before, even as Lexa pulls back slightly, their foreheads still connected.

“Axel, I-”

“No.”

Clarke pulls back, confused as she looks at Lexa.

Lexa’s heart pounds as she feels Clarke pulls away, her eyes filling with tears as her mouth opens, spilling everything. 

“I’m trans. I’m a woman. I’m sorry for not telling you. I know this is a shock and you’ll prob-”

Her rambling is cut short as lips press into hers. 

“I think I might love you,” Clarke admits quietly.

Lexa breaks, tears falling quickly, sobs escaping. Clarke pulls her close and runs her fingers through her hair, whispering in her ear. 

Clarke sighs in content when the sobs stop, Lexa fast asleep and cradled on her chest.

“I love you, my wife,” she whispers, pressing a kiss to Lexa’s forehead as she shifts, pulling the brunette closer to her and falling asleep herself.

* * *

Lexa groans as she is pulled from sleep. A hand gently touches the side of her face, making her relax into it. Suddenly the gentle touch is replaced by white heat, the cold burns, causing her to cry out in surprise.

“Sorry, but the swelling is pretty bad,” Clarke soothes, a hand gently cupping the other side of her face.

“It’s cold,” Lexa whines but stays put, allowing Clarke to hold the ice against her eye.

“Does your lip hurt?” 

“No, it’s fine,” Lexa mumbles.

Clarke nods, mostly to herself since Lexa hasn’t opened her eyes yet. Lexa sighs as she takes in the silence, her mind racing.

_She hasn’t said anything about last night. Maybe she’s just being nice and wants to let me down easy. She probably feels bad that she doesn’t like me, so she’s taking care of me. Or maybe she doesn’t believe in trans people. I mean, she seemed nice last night, but I also just started crying. Maybe she wants me to leave. She’s so quiet, maybe thinking of how she’s going to break up with me._

Lexa cracks an eye open, prepared to offer the blonde an out, only to be frozen as those blue eyes are locked on her lips. Clarke seems to notice she’s being watched, blue eyes flicking up to green. Then she whispers the most beautiful words Lexa has ever heard.

“What’s your **_real_** name?”

Lexa’s so stunned it’s hard to think, hard to answer the simple question. Clarke waits, her hand gently stroking the side of her face that isn’t bruised, waiting for an answer without a rush.

“Lexa,” she whispers.

“Shh, don’t cry,” Clarke whispers, wiping away her tears. 

“I’m sorry, I just…”

“It’s okay Lexa, I know this is a lot,” Clarke says, pulling her into a hug. 

Lexa leans forward, pushing away the frozen bag at her eye to truly look into blue eyes. Clarke watches the green, waiting for whatever is about to happen. Her eyes widen when lips are pressed to hers. 

Clarke easily sinks into the gentle kiss, get hand coming to play with the baby hairs on the back of Lexa’s neck. Lexa pushes harder, easily flipping them on the couch. Clarke lets out a noise of surprise at the sudden change, but Lexa’s lips are pressing against hers, demanding her attention. Lexa presses harder into the kiss, getting lost as her hands come to Clarke’s waist.

_God. She’s so sexy and kind. I’m in love with her. If I wasn’t before, I am now. She likes me, no matter what I am. She knows my name now and she hasn’t run away yet._

“Lexa,” the gently whisper brings her back to reality, looking down into blue eyes.

“That sounds good,” Lexa admits, leaning down so their foreheads touch gently.

“It does, doesn’t it?” Clarke chuckles softly, her fingers still wrapped in the baby curls on the back of Lexa’s neck.

“I think I love you.”

Clarke smiles, “Me too.”


	3. Abby/Raven/Octavia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa coming out to Abby, Raven, and Octavia. It can also be read in chapter 3 of 'Born to Shine' Part 3 of this series.

“Are you serious?” Lexa whines, refusing to break her hold on the blonde’s hips.

“Diane didn’t come in, I gotta,” Clarke grins, pulling Lexa into a hug, “You’ll be fine, they love you.”

“But-”

“They’ll love you just the same, baby. If any give you a hard time I’ll beat them up, okay?” 

Lexa chuckles, pulling away from the hug to look into sparkling blue eyes.

“You’d beat up your mom for me?”

“I’d beat her up just because, if I could,” Clarke jokes, laughing herself when Lexa snorts.

“You’re terrible,” she laughs.

Clarke grins, watching the woman before her. Lexa realizes she’s being watched and she pushes her hair back, slightly longer than ever before.

“What?” she questions, ignoring the way she can feel her face heat up.

“You’re so pretty,” Clarke states, leaving no room for argument.

Lexa freezes, breath caught in her throat as the words wash over her. Her wife, a crazy statement it itself, that fact she has a wife, but her wife, the beautiful cis woman she is, is looking at her and saying she’s pretty. It’s better than any dream she’s ever had, warmth fills her from the inside out, starting in her belly and going up to her chest. 

“I love you,” Lexa states before crashing her lips into the blondes. 

Clarke smiles so big it forces her to break the kiss. Pulling away slightly, Lexa chases her lips, emotions spilling into the kiss. Clarke’s hands come up, gently stroking Lexa’s cheeks as she returns the kiss. She sighs as she pulls away, her hands preventing Lexa from chasing her lips. 

“I’ve got to go,” she states sadly, looking at the time on her phone.

Lexa sighs, her bottom lip jutting out as she pouts. 

“God, your lips are fucking perfect. An artist’s dream,” Clarke mumbles, her thumb running across them. 

A knock on the door interrupts their moment before the door is thrown open, Raven walking in with four two litters of soda in her arms.

“Thanks for waiting for an answer,” Clarke rolls her eyes as she turns towards the door, her hands leaving their spot on Lexa’s face.

“It was a warning, not a question,” Raven states, placing the soda on the bar as Octavia comes in through the open door, three pizza’s in her hands.

“God that smells amazing,” Clarke says, smiling at her friends in greeting.

“Only the best,” Octavia says, sitting the pizza next to the soda.

“Not to ruin the party before it starts, but I’ve got to run,” Clarke informs the girls, earning whines of protest before turning to Lexa, “I’ll see you later,” she says, stealing a kiss before leaving, telling her mom hello on her way out the door.

“So pizza night with Clarke’s hubby and Ma?” Raven jokes, easily finding her way to the TV.

“I’ve been to a few of these movie nights before Raven. I’m almost a regular,” Abby defends, sitting in the chair with a small smirk of amusement.

“I meant no offense Mama G,” Raven defends herself as she sets up the movie.

“Yeah, you’re like the fourth member of our group already,” Octavia states, setting the pizza on the coffee table and grabbing a slice for herself. 

“So I guess that makes Axel the new blood?” Abby questions with her smirk still in place as she looks at Lexa.

“Yeah, yeah. Speeches after the movie, I wanna see this,” Raven waves her hand dismissively, pressing play before finding her seat next to Octavia, easily sharing the small blanket.

* * *

“So, now that the movie is over,” Lexa says quietly to herself in the mirror, having accused herself to practice in the bathroom before the movie ended. 

She shakes her head at herself, nerves filling her stomach. She pulls out her phone, ready to text Clarke and tell her she’s chickened out but finds a text from the girl waiting for her.

_ I love you, Lexa. You’re strong enough for this, I promise. _

She bites her bottom lip and returns to the living room. She’s surprised the movie is over, Raven and Octavia are cuddled together, looking at something on Raven’s phone as Abby moves around the girls, cleaning up the small mess they’ve created thought the night. 

Lexa closes her eyes, returning to the headspace that saved her for years.  _ Show no weakness. Show no fear. You are strong. Show no weakness. No fear.  _ She can feel the mask fall into place, and then she knows she’s ready to face them. 

“I have a confession to make to all of you,” she states, bringing all of their attention to the brunette. 

“You’re gay! I called it,” Raven exclaims, causing Lexa’s mask to crack a bit, a small smirk appearing before she can stop it.

“I’m very much in love with my wife,” Lexa says, earning a sigh of defeat from the brunette.

“I uh… I’m usually super good with words, but I don’t really have the words to say this. I don’t feel like a guy. I feel like-”

“You’re trans?! That makes so much fucking sense! Why the hell didn’t I think of that?” Raven interrupts, slapping her forehead.

Octavia chuckles at the brunette, “You owe me money.”

“Transgender? Like, you feel like a woman?” Abby questions, ignoring the two girls as she looks at her daughter’s spouse.

Lexa swallows, settling her shoulders as she looks Abby directly in the eyes.

“I don’t feel like a woman, I am a woman. My name is Lexa.”

Abby’s eyebrows raise as she takes in the person before her. Dark brown eyes never leave green as she searches for answers. 

Lexa can’t breathe as Abby seems to look into her soul for answers to questions she not even asking. She clenches her jaw as she awaits judgment from the woman who owns the roof over her head. 

“I think you’ll love beautiful with long hair, Lexa.”

Lexa’s mask breaks. She crumbles, tears streaming down her face and sobs coming instead of breaths. 

Abby catches her. She cradles the broken woman like one would a baby. She pulls her close and lets her ruin her shirt, one hand runs through her hair, one rubs her back. 

Then there are more hands. Raven and Octavia are there too, rubbing her back and talking to her. They’re all talking to her, yet keeping the conversation going amongst themselves. Slowly, Lexa is able to pull herself back together, the sobs and tears coming to an end.

“I’m sorry,” she says, pulling away from Abby.

“No apologies Lexa. We all understand,” Octavia says, her hand squeezing Lexa’s shoulder.

“Coming out is a scary thing,” Raven nods.

“We’re all here for you honey, just as I’m sure Clarke is,” Abby says, wiping away the last tear from Lexa’s face.

“I just… I didn’t expect this,” Lexa confesses, water filling her eyes again.

The door opens, bringing all their attention to the blonde coming home. Blue eyes widen at the sight before her, her two best friends and her mother standing around her wife, who has been crying.

“What’s going on?” she questions, unsure if Lexa’s come out yet or not.

“We’re just telling your wife we accept her,” Abby states, giving Lexa’s cheek one last caress before pulling away.

“I can’t believe I never guessed trans. I’m an idiot,” Raven says, shaking her head at herself.

“Yes, you are,” Octavia agrees, laughing as she’s pushed away.

* * *

“You can say it,” Lexa whispers into Clarke’s shoulder later that night as they lie in bed.

“Say what?” Clarke questions, feigning ignorance. 

“Klark.”

“I don’t need to say it,” Clarke grins, “I’m just happy for you.”

Lexa presses a kiss into Clarke’s shoulder.

“But I told you so.”

Clarke’s laugh fills the room as Lexa playfully bites her. 


	4. Daniel Jacob Griffin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can also be found in chapter 1 of 'Warrior of the Universe', the 9th part of this series.   
> Daniel Jacob Griffin (aka Danny) is Clarke and Lexa's son. Sora (who is referenced) was Danny's twin who was killed in a car accident when they were two.   
> Nari is Anya and Raven's daughter (referenced).

“Mama?” Danny questions, looking up from his homework.

“Hmm?” Lexa hums in question, not looking towards her ten-year-old son as she reads a report for work. 

“Who’s Axel?”

Lexa freezes. It’s been a long time since she heard that name. A long time since anybody close to her has spoken that name.

“Did you have a twin who died too?” He questions softly, green eyes scanning his mother.

Lexa closes her eyes, biting her bottom lip as she focuses on breathing. In… and out. She opens then again to find her son watching her intently.

“Can you go get your mother? I think it’s about time we have this talk.”

“About Axel?” He questions, brows furrowing. 

“Please, go get your mother,” Lexa asks him again, closing her eyes and focusing on breathing. 

“Mommy?” He knocks on the door to Clarke’s art studio before pushing the door open. 

“Danny?” Clarke questions in confusion, “What’s up? Are you done with your homework already?”

“No. Mama wanted me to get you. Said it’s time we talk about Axel.”

It feels like ice water just ran down her spine. She turns, eyes wide as she looks at her son. 

“Where did you hear that name,” she questions quickly.

Danny freezes, biting his bottom lip, “I didn’t-”

“I’m sorry, my love,” Clarke apologizes quickly, “I’m not mad at you, I promise,” she reassures, gently running a hand through his hair. 

“Nari found a picture of Uncle Lincoln and Axel when they were little. Axel looks like Mama,” he explains, “Did Mama have a twin who died too?” 

“No baby,” Clarke sighs, blinking back her tears, “Let’s go find your Mama, okay?”

Danny nods, taking Clarke’s hand as he leads the way back to the study. Clarke sighs as she takes in Lexa, a glass full of dark brown liquid in her hands. 

“Lexa,” she whispers, causing Lexa to turn, setting down the glass.

“Are you sad Mama?” Danny questions, getting only a nod before Lexa buries herself in Clarke’s arms, tears running down her face.

“I’m sorry Mama, I didn’t mean to make you sad,” he states, his green eyes filling with tears as his bottom lip juts out. 

“No baby, it’s not your fault. I promise,” Clarke assures him, caressing his face with one hand while the other tangles in brunette locks. 

Lexa takes a deep, shuddering breath before pulling away from Clarke, blinking away her tears as two sets of eyes settle on her.

“I’m okay Danny, just sad,” she states, reaching out to wipe away the single tear that’s slipped from his eyes.

“Let’s sit down, okay? We’ve gotta explain some things, okay?” Clarke suggests, earning twin nods. 

Clarke settles on the couch, Lexa snuggled into her right side and Danny into her left. 

“Do you want me to explain, or do you want to?” Clarke questions her wife softly.

“I will,” she sighs, looking at her son. 

“What’s your name?” she questions him.

His brows furrow in confusion, glancing at Clarke for guidance, earning a soft smile, “Just answer baby.”

“Danny?”

“Your full name.”

“Daniel Jacob Griffin,” he states, his voice growing in confidence. 

“And why is that your name?”

His brows furrow again. 

“Why are you Daniel, and not Sora?”

“Because I’m a boy?” he answers with a question.

“Yes. You were born with boy parts, so we gave you a boy name.”

“Okay?” 

“Well sometimes people are born with boy parts, and get named boy names, but later they find out they aren’t really a boy.”

His brows furrow again.

“Like sometimes girls like girls instead of boys? Like how Mommy and Mama love each other, so you don’t have a daddy.”

“And sometimes boys like boys, like Uncle Belly and Murphy,” he nods.

“Well, sometimes what you’re born as is wrong.”

“So like, if I was a girl?” he questions, looking down at himself.

“So like if you were born without your boy parts, and we gave you a girl name,” Lexa explains.

“I like my penis though,” he frowns, “And my boy name.”

“Well, I was born with one too, but I didn’t like it,” Lexa explains.

Green eyes snap to Lexa’s face as his brows furrow, then down to her crotch, then back up, causing her to flush a deep red. 

“You have a penis?” he questions, eyes wide. 

“No, your Mama doesn’t have a penis,” Clarke answers, her hand squeezing Lexa’s shoulder. 

“But I used to. I was born with one,” Lexa explains, pushing through her discomfort. 

Suddenly his furrowed brows relax, his jaw dropping. 

“You’re Axel!” he exclaims. 

“No, your Mama was always Lexa. People just thought she was Axel,” Clarke explains firmly. 

“But you looked like a boy?” he questions, brows furrowing again.

“You remember how some people are scared to say they’re a girl who likes girls?”

“Yeah, because some people are homophobic!” 

“Well, it was the same for Mama. A lot of people are transphobic.”

“Transphobic?”

“Yeah. Your Mama is transgender. That’s what they call a girl who was born a boy, or a boy born a girl.”

“Transgender,” he repeats. 

“Do you understand?” Lexa questions softly, snuggling in closer to Clarke.

“You were born you, but with a penis, so they thought you were Axel. But now you have girl parts and stuff, so you’re happy now,” he sums up.

“Exactly,” Clarke nods, pressing a kiss to his forehead, “My smart baby boy.”

He grins, leaning into the embrace. He leans into Clarke’s side, wrapping around her and attempting to wrap around Lexa too. 

“I love you, moms,” he states, looking from blue eyes to green. 

“We love you, so, so much,” Lexa answers, reaching around Clarke and him in a hug. 

Clarke sighs happily, pressing another kiss to her son’s forehead, then to her wife’s. 

“And Mama?”

“What baby?”

“You’re a very pretty girl now. Nothing like a boy.”

Lexa can’t hold back her tears at that comment, burying her face into Clarke’s neck.

“Good tears baby,” Clarke explains before he can question, “And I think you’re right. Your Mama is beautiful.”

“Both my moms are pretty,” he states, leaving no room for argument. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed.


End file.
